2003-04-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

It appears that this is STILL being monitored, although I am not foolish enough to continue to use it as I was. Therefore, this shall be my last post, ever.

2003-04-07T11:50:00.001-07:00

The conditions have changed once again. At best, I could be back by next week. That is, if I don't fail, which is probably what they want to happen, because I will fall farther behind, and my already less than stellar grades will become even lower.

2003-04-07T11:50:00.000-07:00

2003-04-05T19:28:00.000-08:00

This diary has been exploited. It no longer serves a purpose and has been eliminated. I apologize to my readers, and I'm sorry that I was foolish enough to assume that people would put what I write into context.

I'm not suicidal. I'm not even that unhappy. I just need to vent sometimes. Apparently at my current institution this is frowned upon. Once again, I am sorry, not for myself, but for the people who's only connection to me was through what I wrote. And I guess I am sorry to myself as well, who used this as a tool to express myself.

Never again will I make the mistake of expressing thoughts that are do not conform to others' standards.

On Friday evening, the day after my birthday, I met with Dr. Gillon for approx 30 minutes on the advice of Ms. Haynes, in hope that I might be able to recieve help for my recent feelings of unmotivation and lack of energy. After a series of non personal questions concerning my family and my past, with Mr. Turner she reviewed a recent post from this blog. Without questioning me, they determined that I needed to leave the academy, and that I would not be allowed to return until I got a 'all ok' from a medical professional. She recommended to my parents that I go to an emergency room and get something along the lines of "Emergency Clinical Evaluation". I was escorted to an SLCs room where I was under watch for two and a half hours. When I was allowed home, I was not to be out of anyone's sight. On Saturday morning, I went to the ER and had numberous medical professionals 'check me out', and I got a clean bill of health from all of them. One doctor said that the school was blowing everything out of porportion and that he recommended that I get back to life as normal ASAP. After calling the school with that diagnosis, he was told to wait until Monday, when my "case" would be "reviewed". I still await the "verdict" of my "trial" (those last two are my terms, but they fit, don't they?). I can only hope that the group of people who I have little contact with will think wisely while deciding the rest of my high school, and quite likely, college career.

Not only do I feel violated and like I'm lacking a little justice, but I am disgusted at the manner in which I am being treated. I was not consulted. I was not helped in any way. I came seeking help, and was thrown out and treated like a man with the plague. But leaving me alone, which is all I have ever really wanted anyway, was not enough for the academy.

I just wanted to be left alone in the first place. I never bothered anyone. Now I can't even leave my room. All because of some powerful strangers making uninformed opinions about me. I was told that I was "unable to take the SATs in my condition". MY CONDITION. I have not changed a bit in years, and I've taken the SATs a number of times. This is just one example of many.

I am sickened by the psycho-educational facilities at the academy, and will do my best to avoid using them again.

Goodnight and hopefully not goodbye,
Tom

sote